116. My mistakes dont define me. 71. Groucho Marx. 1. 152. If you feel like todays not your day and the best thing would be to stay in bed, Ive got something that will cheer you up. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer. Im like a postage stamp. Be careful when you follow the masses. 8. 55. Unit #2007 Mahwah, NJ 07430, 50 Funny Affirmations for Confidence, Motivation, and Self-Love, 39 Movies about Friendship and Being with Great People, Relationship OCD: Symptoms, Causes, and How to Treat, 45 Best Hobbies for Couples to Share Together, 51 Passion Project Ideas & Examples List for 2023, 21 Best Films That Explore Mental Illness, 41 Words of Encouragement for Someone in Jail, The 5 Best Vitamins for Anxiety (Our 2023 Review), 101 Toxic People Quotes to Stay Away from Negativity, 57 Strong Mom Quotes About Being a Powerful Parent, 7 Steps to Deal with Emotionally Unavailable Parents, 35 Best Songs About What Its Like to Have Anxiety. Allow your body to absorb the positivity of your words by repeating them to yourself. Laughter also has a social aspect, as its the perfect way to bond with people. 78. And, it doesnt have to be hard or complicated! Im old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. happy. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. 2. Erma Bombeck It's why you may feel excinervous (aka excited and nervous at the same time). 177. Never let anyone waste your time twice. 187. Im thinking like a proton, always positive., 9. 178. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. 19. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Being funny seems to be taking less effort. Affirmations are an opportunity to be honest with ourselves and recognize that we have a treasure trove of power and creativity within us. Life always offers you a second chance. 139. I tried, but they wanted cash. We need to hear a pin drop. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. A person with a great sense of humor is also more likable. 145. When I grow up to be a parent, my children will think the same about me. Shoot for the moon. And no, that's definitely not a bad thing! Watch popular content from the following creators: Maaryfairyy(@maaryfairyy), Jasmines Garden(@jasminesgarden23), Dazley(@dazzlemeup), JaySean(@jaysean), Nathalie Munoz(@nathaliemunozx3) . What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? 'Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.'. 128. 125. 56. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. - Kyle Chandler. Wake up and smell the birdshit on your windshield. What do I do for a living? I personally love watching masters of comedy captivate audiences with their dark humor and crafty punchlines. My liver still works. I try to see the funny side of every situation., 3. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. What do I do for a living? When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer., 10. Subscribe To Our Newsletter! Even on my worst days, turning on some stand up immediately puts me in a better mood. I make people laugh, whether its with me or at me. 45. Lifes biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I dont want to get out of bed. I personally love watching masters of comedy, Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre. Make it inspiring. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor. 98. Enjoy! Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. 123. The older I get, the more I start ignoring my friends. Can February march? 25. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. 3. I am grateful for the healing power of humor. You can write them down and use them whenever you're attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Flip Wilson, 263. Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way., See also: 120 Best Spiritual Universe Quotes To Contemplate Life. The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. - Billie Burke. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? 52. 218. Honolulu, its got everything. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please., 4. 15. Take some time each day to go through these funny affirmations for self-esteem and see how your mood shifts in response. Life is always rocky when youre a gem. We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Read next: 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. Life would be tragic if it werent funny too. You can be positive and yet be funny and easy-going. 1. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Its okay, he woke up. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Today I was a hero. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Feel free to pick a few of these affirmations and say them to yourself the next time youre overwhelmed, stressed, or just dealing with negative self-talk. 20. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. 53. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat. Never forget that broken crayons can also color. 96. At night, I cant fall asleep. 26. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if you're one of them (I bet you are), you're going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm.I'm sure you've heard a lot about affirmations, what they do and why you should start using them daily.They are a powerful to. Why did the can crusher quit his job? 221. 193. I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. Which affirmation put a smile on your face? 118. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. So far, so good. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. I will shine like fireworks on the Fourth of July. Here, we are listing down some awesome funny positive affirmations that will bring out serious positive changes in you. 13. Bill Murray As you can see, laughter is already a powerful tool on its own. 109. When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. 10. Rome wasnt built in a day. Cry a river. 75. Ken Dodd 39. I dont go crazy, I am crazy. We have divided these daily funny affirmations in these sections; Also check out our post ondaily affirmations for womenandaffirmations for menthat can help you to feel motivated and reshape your limiting beliefs. 248. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. My future is a golden, sparkly, explosion of fucking awesomeness. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. Theres no stopping me now. It has many of the same goals as affirmations, as theyre both associated with positivity and happiness. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. Relax, its the weekend, just dont blink or it will be all over. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. What do you call a bear with no teeth? 51. This is because, in order to be funny, there are certain details that need to be perfectly delivered. 40. I make a difference by showing up fully. We frequently doubt ourselves. I love myself, which is why I dont need to love the idea of other people loving me. A wishbone. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. Everyone wants to talk with me because I am very funny. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? 84. Perhaps youre just starting to use affirmations and still cant take yourself seriously. 222. They are a powerful tool you can use to change your attitude, your perspective on life and shift from a negative to a positive mindset. Benjamin Franklin Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. I make the right choices every time. Robert A. Heinlein, 243. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. 105. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Steven Alexander Wright 141. Funny Positive Affirmations For Work. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. But then again so does . I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. As I become responsible, I have got more powers. I am lazy till I get a motive. Home: Where I can look ugly and not care. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours., 6. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesnt contain any calories. 27. I draw from my inner strength and light. I am enough. , we dont need our internal dialogue to pile on too. I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Art doesnt transform. I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. 157. 243. Boost your ego and narcissism in as little as 5 minutes per day and set yourself up for success. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? By waking up and repeating this mantra, you will set the tone for the day. If you cant remember my name, just say chocolate and Ill turn around.. My body belongs to me and I can set boundaries around it. Life is always easier with some humor, smiles, laughter and fun. With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Looking for positive funny affirmations? Excuse me, I need to go be awesome today. 10. Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. The thing is, Im still getting ready. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. In the morning, I cant get up. 1. 143. 145. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. Treat me like a joke and Ill leave you like its funny. Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as " I am calm .". 5. They say dont try this at home so Im coming over to your house to try it. I will tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. I teach my kids good things in sarcastic ways. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. 73. Sincerely, the floor. I dont need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 91. 181. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesnt contain any calories. Bill Gates. 25. 61. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep. 212. 142. Does it count if you say them in your mind? 279. 229. I breathe in and out. I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. 79. The world needs people like me to keep things interesting! 144. I didnt give you the finger, you earned it. Let these funny affirmation quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day. Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? I put my phone in airplane mode, but its not flying. Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else. Erma Bombeck. Swimming trunks. 50. 275. Ive been doing nothing for years. I just go normal from time to time. 207. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. 12. When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? 24. -Katrina Bowden. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Happy Birthday.". My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Wilson Mizner, 262. 69. 63. All you need is love. 214. Just like every Monday does on Earth. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. Its a door, thats how they work. Alright, get in the basket. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. Robert A. Heinlein Milton Berle I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. These kinds of things just come with the territory if youre trying to live a meaningful life. "I am becoming humorous day by day.". Amidst all the stress, anxiety and worries, a smile can help you brighten your day. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. You kill vegetarian vampires with a steak to the heart. ". 166. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button. 269. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. You need some sort of way to offset the inevitable stressors of life, and what better way to do that than with humor? If youre hotter than me, then that means Im cooler than you. Positive affirmations are a longstanding practice for those of us who need a little extra daily encouragement, and the best part isthey're free and they're flexible! 268. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. - Catherine Pulsifer. Everyone recognizes how positive emotions can affect attitude and overall health. Cindy from Marzahn 175. 31. I should have theme music every time I enter a room. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be miserable., 7. Life is a game full of little and big surprises. I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Pat Sajak, 41. Because if you can put a smile on your face with a little humor, I guarantee that youll feel some weight come off your shoulders.f. It may look like Im doing nothing, but in my head, Im quite busy. 1. 2. I am awesome. East Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well., 13. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. 9. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. 7. 72. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Hi! Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. But this shouldnt be a problem, as you can come up with your own humorous affirmations. I often wish I was someone else Just so I could hang around with someone as awesome as me. I sometimes might be too much, but I am always enough. Im a work in progress without a completion date., See also: 120 Ultimate Best Quotes About Progress To Fuel Your Growth. Once youve chosen one of our affirmations or devised your own, its time to put it into practice. 112. Take a look! I love my kids, which means I am doing just fine. You never run out of things that can go wrong. How do trees access the internet? Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Here are some tips on how to make the most of using these humorous affirmations: Laughter and affirmations are already powerful separately, so imagine what they can do for you when combined. What do computers eat for a snack? I am grateful for the healing power of humor. Dear universe, Im totally open to all of the amazing things coming my way. 100 Funny Christmas Quotes. I am lazy till I get a motive. - George Burns. 138. So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations. You wanna know who Im in love with? I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 9. 276. I bet giraffes dont even know what farts smell like. 70. Also read: 70+ Positive Affirmations For Teens From Parents. 103. I love my job only when Im on vacation. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Oh sheet! "It's only WednesdayHang in there!". 192. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. 150. Relax, its the weekend, just dont blink or it will be all over. Whatever the case may be, these 15 affirmations will make you feel confident in your sense of humor: Once youre feeling happy and confident about your sense of humor, use these 35 affirmations to navigate challenging situations with a smile. 54. Bill Murray, 258. Not me, but somebody does. I live in a loving, nurturing, safe, and beautiful world. Your life is your message to the world. If you just want to keep reading, then heres some affirmations about the funny side of friendship.
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